Wedding Crashers
by LukeAndLorelai Brucas Fan
Summary: In a few minutes they would be husband and wife... Not if the stupid drunk exes have anything to do with it. My bizare idea that stemmed from Changes, which is an amazing fic. Read it.


AN: This started out as my rambling review for 'Changes' by Andra-gfan (READ IT! It's awesome!) and then we just kept going with it, and it evolved into this.... Well, in Richard's words, this lunacy. So this is for Addie, as if it wasn' for her, I never would have even considered ruining Rory and Jess' wedding.

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Jess Mariano waited inside the library of the Dragonfly Inn for his bride, Rory Gilmore to enter and join him in front of the reverend, so they could finally be married. Once that was done, they would be able to give their unborn child something they hadn't had – a happy family, complete with a marriage certificate.

Sure, Rory's parents had been married for a few months, but that was almost twenty-three years after she was born, and hadn't lasted long at all.

_It's not important though,_ he thought to himself, looking away from the odd look on his mother's face. _This is our time._ After a moment he realised what the look was: pride. But it still didn't look right being directed at him.

In a few minutes they would be husband and wife. The decision to hold the wedding so quickly had very little to do with Rory being pregnant, it just worked out that way, they knew they wanted to do this, and the date had become available, there was no reason to put it off.

As Rory walked down the short aisle, on her own, towards Jess, her parents each sitting in the first row, Lorelai with her husband and son, and Christopher with his second daughter, she took her flowers in one hand and pressed the other against her stomach, wanting her baby to feel included in this day some how.

She reached Jess and handed her bouquet over to Lane, before Jess took her hand and Reverend Skinner invited everyone to be seated,

"This is a joyous day for all of us in attendance here, for we are gathered to bear witness to the union of-"

"Don't do this Rory!" A voice boomed from the doorway. Everyone jumped at the sound and whipped around to see a blonde man, slightly dishevelled, holding himself up against the doorframe. "You can't marry Jack."

"Logan what the hell do you think you're doing?" Lorelai demanded, the first to recover from her shock and able to address him by name. Rory was still stunned, as were the handful of others who knew who he was.

"Jack's all wrong for you. He-"

"Rory I still love you!" Another voice cried out as footsteps were heard outside. Either a small heard of animals were on the way, or there was a group of people making a run for the library. A struggle ensued and then an accented voice called out triumphantly,

"A-ha! Logan, we got him mate!" moments later, Dean Forrester stumbled through the door with Logan's friend, Colin McRae on his back and Finn Morgan, being dragged along the ground as he tried to weigh down the tall man's ankles.

"We got Jason, so you go ahead and marry Rory. Quick!" Colin told his friend. Dean buckled under Colin's weight and the two men fell in a heap on top of Finn, who howled in pain, over Colin's maniacal laughter.

Jess had been standing completely still until now, but at the sight of the three imbeciles on the floor, his resolve to stay calm snapped. He dropped Rory's hand, advanced on Logan and threw a punch right into the blonde's jaw. At the same time Kirk jumped from his seat, and raced forward to the couple's defence, planning to assist in the fight. Unfortunately, as he made his way forward, his foot caught on one of the chair legs in the front row, and he fell, his head landing in the lap of the grandmother of the bride, who swatted at him repeatedly with her program causing him to fall to the floor, unconscious.

By this time the wedding crashers had gotten to their feet, and Colin had noticed something up on the wall. He lunged for a pair of swords, but only managed to grab one, while, Matt snatched up the other, and the two men engaged in a sword fight.

Finn on the other hand, was just leaning against a bookshelf, laughing at what was going on, intermittently egging on his friends.

"This is preposterous!" Richard Gilmore boomed, jumping to his feet. "I demand that you all stop this... this lunacy at once!"

"HEY!" Doula screamed, causing everyone to stop what they were doing and look at her, even the men busy with their duel. "You can't yell in a library," she told them all in a slightly lower voice, "you'll get arrested."

"Hurry up!" Emily screeched at the man of God. "Just do it now. She needs to be married. This baby cannot be born out of wedlock!"

"Mom!"

"Grandma!" The two Lorelais screamed at her. Reverend Skinner seemed torn – listen to the Gilmores he had known for years, or the scary one who was ordering him to continue the ceremony?

"We are gathered here today," he began, making the decision, thanks to the terrifying glare aimed at him, courtesy of Emily Gilmore. "To join in holy matrimony, these two, ah..." he faltered slightly, his attention taken by the two men engaged in a sword fight. Logan took the opportunity to lunge at Jess, and wrestle the groom to the ground, as Dean sat on the floor, picking up petals that Doula had thrown around earlier on her way up the aisle.

"To join in holy matrimony these..." he looked from Rory to the two men wrestling on the ground. Logan managed to gain the upper hand and get to his feet, joining Rory at the altar as Chris shuffled from foot to foot, unsure of how he could help his best friend.

"Wait! She's supposed to be marrying the hoodlum!" Taylor exclaimed as Liz feinted in her seat and Jimmy turned to attend to her.

"Hey! You get away from her." TJ warned him and Skinner looked to Emily for guidance.

"I don't care!" she screeched. "Anyone of them will do, just get her married!"

In that moment Dean seemed to remember why he was there and started to stand up, but at the same time, Chris finally made a decision and dove on to the man, stopping him from reaching the altar as Finn collapsed on the floor, still laughing.

"Rory, do you take, well, I ah... I don't know... Which-"

"Jess!" Rory screamed as her fiancé latched onto Logan's feet and yanked him back down to the floor. "I'm marrying Jess!"

"Alright then, so, do you-"

"STOP!" Luke boomed, on his feet, glaring around the room at everyone. "That's better, now, anyone who wasn't invited to this wedding, get the hell out of here, or at least, move to the back of the room. The rest of you, get back into position, so we can finish this wedding."

As the young men started looking at each other reluctant to move in any direction, Luke shook his head, smoke almost visibly pouring out of his ears.

"Ok, fine!" He clenched his jaw, looking around to find someone suitable to help him. Unfortunately for him, Kirk was still lying on the floor while Taylor fanned his programme over his face, trying to pull him back to consciousness.

"Don't you die on me Kirk! Don't you die on me!" The man was yelping, pained, at regular times, fighting very hard to not start crying at the thought of losing the man he thought of as his son. Truth be told, despite his terrifying appearance and mean behaviour, Taylor had always hoped Kirk would follow in his footsteps. And then there was that crush he had on the owner of a certain ballet..._better not to talk about that. _

Looking around some more and cringing, Luke realized that Chris and Jimmy, the two men he despised most were...well the only other men in the room that hadn't been involved in the fight, the ones who had still struggled to catch their breath.

"Chris. Jimmy. Stand up and give me a hand."

Nodding, the two men stood up and they all headed for one of the intruders, picking them up by their collars and shaking them, not bothering to pretend they were calm.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, you idiot! That's my son over there!" Jimmy grunted, kicking Colin's ass.

"And my daughter!" Chris chimed in as he dragged Finn after him.

Slapping the back of Dean and Logan's heads at the same time, Luke grabbed their collars, starting to drag them after him.

"And my nephew and step-daughter and you two idiots have about twenty seconds to leave the county before I come hunt you down and show you why you shouldn't mess with this wedding. Also, if I don't receive a check to cover the damages you caused to the inn by tomorrow morning, I will open your bodies and rip your organs out with my bare hands and sell them on the black market. And trust me-that's not even close to what Lorelai will do to you." Pulling them up to their feet when he reached the porch, he looked at Jimmy and Chris who were flanking him and nodded subtly. Lifting their feet and firmly planting their boots on the back of the boy's pants, they pushed them down the stairs, face first in the dirt.

"20. 19. 18..."

Luke started counting while the men stood up and started running wildly. Nodding and rubbing his hands against each other, satisfied, Luke smiled, walking back inside.

"Alright, that's more like it. Carry on Reverend." Luke instructed, as he and the two other fathers took their seats.

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I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. :P


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